And what an absurd year it’s been, for all of us – indeed..
I apologize first and foremost for the 20 or so people who read this (and note I said commemorate and not “look back fondly on”, “celebrate”, or even “recap”. Because for lords sake it has been a year of ups, downs, laterals and other geometric patterns I am unfamiliar with. I’ve felt it, you’ve felt it – some more than others, but its been felt. Now, I’ve only lived 26 years of life, but I compare 2021 to something akin to an assignment your boss hands you; you know, the kind where you have to fill out like 20,000 spreadsheet lines, analyze some financial document, or work on some shit project and derive some kind of meaning from it and you just sit there and stare at it like life itself is trying to mess with you. And you just stare at it like am I in some kind of simulation or if life strange as hell right now?
Has 2021 been real? What has it been? That’s not to say I haven’t had some incredible moments, life-changing moments, felt pride in my work, travelled a lot, spent time with my best friends in the world, accomplished some great things, attended shows, found amazing music, watched incredible movies, visited some amazing places, and loved life along the way – wherever possible… I can’t complain, and I will not complain because I am beyond blessed to have what I have. But I certainly haven’t been making the most of it. And I’m sure many of us feel that way.
But hell if I haven’t been stressed. A lot. And no this is not a vent session – I will deliver you good news my friends, I promise 🙂 But I am certain we’ve all felt that. That impending “what the legitimate fuck is going on” – with our world, this virus, these absolute nutcases we hear about every day, the quarantining, the working in PJs (that was actually kinda dope tbh), everyone locked up inside, cancelled events, some lame ass, boring times mixed with absolutely insanely fun times (I truly wish you have enjoyed these), etc.
But what it boils down to is the monotony.
What I mean by this is repetition, repetition, repetition. The same news, usually something about the virus, masks, the same stories, the same shows, the same conversations, the same same same. Now, intermingled with fun and some amazing times, I reiterate that this is not a complaint letter – it’s an observation. An observation that 2021 has made me complacent in pursuing what I love to do when im not actually doing the things I love. I don’t know what it boils to, but maybe it’s laziness, or as I said – complacency. I haven’t read like I’ve wanted to, haven’t written (obviously) like I have been desperately meaning to, and I’m not doing enough of the hobbies I love outside of the regular, everyday. For some it’s work, for some it’s COVID, for others it could be personal – but I know for me this year wasn’t everything I had intended it to be in terms of personal productivity in pursuing the hobbies and activities that I love and in many ways make me better.
But that’s okay. Cause I’m hitting the reset button. Time to delegate my time to what I enjoy doing when I have the time to do it, time to get back in the groove and do what I love, find the time in the day to do it and make time for myself. This is not intended to be a self reflection, but a message to all you men and women out there in the same situation. Hit that reset button and grab your life back where you want to me.
IT’S TIME TO GRAB LIFE BACK BY THE REIGNS (except I have no idea how to ride a horse and would definitely get fucked up trying to do so).
I’m REVIVING this blog for better or for worse because I like doing it. And I hope you enjoy it too. Thanks for hanging around. Content coming soon…